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I'm sorry, after that last journal entry I felt that I had to balance out the ying and yang with something more uplifting. And this is uplifting for me.
There will be a lot of you out there reading the subtitle and rolling your eyes grumbling about another anorexic teenager and the obsession of beauty in society. Well hold your horses there Helios! The fact is that I am NOT a teenager - I'm 30, about to be 31. Do I have issues with my age? No. Hi, hello world! I'm about to turn 31. There, everyone happy? The big deal is that I gave birth last year and in the process of my pregnancy gained 60-65 pounds whereas the health care system tells you to gain 35. I will remind you all that I'm five foot one so the extra weight didn't get spread around, it sat right where you could see it. Double chins, my knee caps disappearing into my legs not to mention losing sight of my feet altogether.
I remember the kind words of all those around me, the same words I foisted off onto other new mothers- "You just had a baby. Your body's been through hell. Give it time and you will be slender again." And the post birth hormones swing in on tarzan vines and start screaming that no! I want to be tapered and slim and beautiful and I want it now. I want it by dinnertime tonight! And of course, it doesn't happen.
Because of winter (and whoa do we get winter) I put away the majority of my nice skirts, dresses and pretty clothes for hibernation. I just tried on one of my old dresses this morning AND IT FITS! My fat jeans are now no longer comfortable because they sag and my thin jeans are even becoming loose. I demand a National Holiday I am so happy.
Now I will admit that I'm not a rail. I will not fit the 'tapered' look. I am still only five foot one so I don't have those Julia Robert legs that go on forever. I was born in the Caribbean so parts of me have curves and always will. But they are now proportionate curves! I don't need to be Paris Hilton's size, I'm good with what I got. In fact, I'm great with it.
I just wanted to share.
There will be a lot of you out there reading the subtitle and rolling your eyes grumbling about another anorexic teenager and the obsession of beauty in society. Well hold your horses there Helios! The fact is that I am NOT a teenager - I'm 30, about to be 31. Do I have issues with my age? No. Hi, hello world! I'm about to turn 31. There, everyone happy? The big deal is that I gave birth last year and in the process of my pregnancy gained 60-65 pounds whereas the health care system tells you to gain 35. I will remind you all that I'm five foot one so the extra weight didn't get spread around, it sat right where you could see it. Double chins, my knee caps disappearing into my legs not to mention losing sight of my feet altogether.
I remember the kind words of all those around me, the same words I foisted off onto other new mothers- "You just had a baby. Your body's been through hell. Give it time and you will be slender again." And the post birth hormones swing in on tarzan vines and start screaming that no! I want to be tapered and slim and beautiful and I want it now. I want it by dinnertime tonight! And of course, it doesn't happen.
Because of winter (and whoa do we get winter) I put away the majority of my nice skirts, dresses and pretty clothes for hibernation. I just tried on one of my old dresses this morning AND IT FITS! My fat jeans are now no longer comfortable because they sag and my thin jeans are even becoming loose. I demand a National Holiday I am so happy.
Now I will admit that I'm not a rail. I will not fit the 'tapered' look. I am still only five foot one so I don't have those Julia Robert legs that go on forever. I was born in the Caribbean so parts of me have curves and always will. But they are now proportionate curves! I don't need to be Paris Hilton's size, I'm good with what I got. In fact, I'm great with it.
I just wanted to share.