Oh dangit Rubber Duckie!

So this video has exploded onto the internet on Monday and in 2 days has gone viral. Seriously mega-viral. And as with all things on the internet, there are those who will praise it and those who will dump on it.

I've seen the video, I've been to the website, I've gone to the articles about IC's finances and non-compliance with the BBB. So with all of that as mental soup sloshing around in my head, where does that leave me and what ground do I stand on?

I'm sorry, but until you can prove to me that there are no more child soldiers, I'll believe in this cause. OK OK many of you are sneering at your screens and muttering low-browed names at me. Fair enough. It's your opinion.
"You don't even know where your money is going!" You yell at me.
"Sure I do. It doesn't have to go anywhere."

I think what people have missed is that this is an AWARENESS campaign. Up until a few days ago, almost no one knew about Kony or who he was. That was the point. The organization is trying to raise awareness about who he is to make him one of the most talked about issues, and thus a priority for the US government to address. Do I have to spend any money? No. I don't HAVE to. I can sign the pledge, download the posters to print myself, and spread the word. No money has left my pocket.

"But what about the starving children that we have here?" You say to me.
Yes, and with the money I haven't sent to IC, I can help the local groups that help those in need. Let's remember that at least here, (Western World) there are places to go; shelters, or organizations. In Uganda, the Sudan and surrounding areas, the families just don't have anywhere to go. There is no one to help them.

That's why I DO believe in the Western World sticking their noses in and saying "Hold on now!"
It's not our fight? Well, yeah. In my opinion, yeah it is. This is about human rights.
If you saw a kid being bullied by someone twice their size, and you had the ability to step in and stop it - would you? It's not your fight. Would you?
Same principle, only applied to masses of people.

I know I will get shot on all sides for this but I'm sorry, this is what I believe. You can nit pick about the credentials of a this organization, but they've actually done what no one else has done; they got the word out.

I suppose those two don't go hand in hand like hot chocolate and marshmallows to some people, but they do to me. I hear so much blather about how commercialized and materialistic Christmas has become and the whining honestly has become so much nonsense in my brain now. You don't like Christmas at the mall? Then here's a tip, don't go there. Stay home with your family and do things like a Christmas puzzle. Think Christmas is too expensive? Don't spend so much. Send out cards with a heartfelt and hand written letter. In short, if you don't like the commercialization, don't support it. There - problem solved.

Christmas becomes a dichotomy of busy crafting (I try to make as many gifts as I can. And yes I start very early but it keeps Christmas in my heart all year.) and ponderings. It's cold, and the end of another year. How can I help someone who doesn't have any Christmas? How do I want to face next year? What am I afraid of that I can learn to face? Can I bring a smile to one more face? Some of you probably think I'm pulling this out of a fortune cookie laced with Baileys but actually the key of Christmas to me is goodwill. Yes you heard me, goodwill. Now before you go smacking me about with the 'reason for the season' please remember that this is MY blog. I'm voicing an opinion and I was given that very opinion by a Higher Power. Deal. The fact is that I have friends and relatives of many religions and views. My concept is that goodwill is a blanket that layers over all of them, including atheists. Everyone could use some cheer and goodwill.

I think, with modesty in its proper place, I've made some personal growth happen this year. I'm not the same person. I'm trying new things. Some are hard and I'm still falling down a lot. Some are easier and I'm really flying with it. But I'm living. I'm really looking hard at myself and thinking about a quality of life, not quantity. With our society, there's serious pressure for quantity. I'm looking at WHY I want to do things, not blindly following impulses. I'm allowing myself to be happy and telling guilt that now is not a good time to be around. It doesn't always work, but I'm still doing it.

So where does the new year come in?
What do I want from 2012? I want to finish my web degree and become more comfortable in the coding. I want to attain a green stripe belt in taekwondo. I want to do some artwork that I am so proud of that I'll burst if I don't show the world.
I think I'll leave it there for now.
Feeling good.

I'm going to do my best to pull the silver lining to the forefront on this sucky day.

1. Nausea and stomach cramps causing me to take a sick day. Silver lining: I still have sick days in which to use.

2. Getting notified in the mail that I have reached my max for this year's benefits on my physiotherapy. Silver lining: I had benefits for the REALLY bad sprain earlier in the year and I had the money to pay for the lesser sprain without something else being sacrificed.

3. Upon trying to register for my class: my class isn't offered this semester. Silver lining: A large credit card purchase doesn't need to be made now.

4. The cavity filling turned into two cavity fillings. Silver lining: My dental is covered and I would rather take care of the two cavities together than spread out the pain and apprehension. (Not a dentist person. Can ya tell?) I can also now eat sugary stuff on the left side of my mouth without going ouchie.

See Universe? I'm trying! Throw me a freakin' bone!

I'm approaching a moral dilemma that I have seen coming for a long time. I've kept my head in the sand for years and stuck my fingers in my ears while singing childish songs, to ward off the voices. And now I actually have to be a responsible adult about this.

Since coming to Canada and living in one of the best farming regions (Niagara) I've tried really hard to eat better. I slip up and eat the occasional fast food but for the most part I try hard to eat fresh and properly. And now I'm debating if I could be a vegetarian.

Over the years I've tried to trim down the intake of meat for the sake of health. I believe because of our easy modern lifestyle, we eat more meat than we should. The thing is that after a few days of no meat, I start growing fangs and salivating over the raw roasts in at the grocery store. Would Vitamin B remedy this or is this an internal craving that I have to learn to pull through? Like a smoker giving up cigarettes.

My reasons? Well, I'm not sure but I think it's animal rights and intelligence. Now to play devil's advocate in my own brain, I know that carnivores do happen in the natural world. Granted, they have a bit more a chase for their food, in most cases.
The lioness will catch the prey, but the lion will eat his share first.
Is there animal farming in the natural world? Yes I believe so - ants farm aphids. Prides follow herds. There are probably a few more exotic examples that I don't know of.
Do I find a problem with eating gelatin because of the source of the powder it's made from? Well, no. It's an eastern concept that the entire animal should not be wasted. Entire ducks, complete with beaks are sold in markets as an honorable testament to the animal. I DO have a problem of taking a body part and abandoning an animal to die in agony; cutting off shark fins and leaving the rest of the shark to thrash to death in the ocean for example.

OK a lot of this is just my internal rambling.
The other thing is that I love to cook. I really do. And while I know I could be a vegetarian cook, right now I think I would really miss the smell of roasts, gravies and such. So for the moment I'm doing my best to limit my meat intake and to make it worthwhile, not wasteful. Wherever I wind up, I won't push my concepts on anyone else. I can't stand crusades. This is my journey.

We've finally had a few continuous days of spring sunshine so here's a run down of Garden v2.0:

Hydrangea: green leaf buds all over it causing me to dance in happy gardening glee.
Bluebells: planted around the hydrangea in the fall to bud this spring. I know I planted actually a full 14 of them but only 10 have come up so it's more like a lopsided arc. I've never seen a bluebell in person so I'm really anxious for them to bloom.
Astillbe: added to this area for foliage
Begonia: Given as a gift, still going through it's transplant shock but it's a healthy plant to begin with so it should pull through.
Grape Hyacinth/Muscari: I had forgotten what these were when they first started sprouting. They were much easier to identify once the purple cone of flowers was evident. I spaced them out too much in my opinion. I think for next year I'll plant more and see if I can get a nice carpet in that corner.
Fox Glove: OMG so healthy! Healthier than any time during last year. I was thinking of moving it to a sunnier spot but it seems to be doing ok.
Phlox: Short but green, lush and regrowing.
Butterfly bushes: the green leaves have started coming back but they start near the core of the plant and work down the limbs, so it has a bit of a frosted look even in spring.
Basil: dead. duh. It's not spring until I've destroyed a basil plant. This year I put it in the ground and it freaking SNOWED.
Irises: What made me plant irises back there? Well they're healthy looking....
Sage: Never acknowledged winter and already had to be pruned severely.
Onion sets: planted and showing some green sprouts.
Carrots: planted seeds. This could be a cruel game that I will never win.
Chives: one of the first to come back from winter. Already had a decent haircut.
Thyme: barely acknowledged winter, also had a pruning.
leeks: seeds were planted and I THINK I can tell where the fine sprouts are coming up.
Small pepper plant: I found this seed variety that was supposed to grow a small sweet pepper bush but the difference was that the fruit would be small (2 inches) and different colors on the same bush! I just thought that was neat! We don't use a LOT of sweet peppers so the small size would be appropriate to avoid waste. Now I just hope the seeds take. I'm resisting pulling out weeds in this bed because I may accidentally be pulling out a sprout. Patience damnit.
Garlic: I planted these last fall, yes there are healthy leaves put I have no idea what is under the ground. I suppose I should look one of these days.
Raspberry: I will have a decent raspberry bush from the original stalk and it's ring of off shoots this year. The plants are healthy with lush green foliage. I'm really excited.
Patty pan squash: planted seeds for small squash. I'm really hoping that by seeing his food grown in the garden, Aiden will be inclined to expand his menu options. It's also a small variety which most kids like - a good size for their hands and mouths. Not large and intimidating. Hoping it takes. That's right. I'm hoping for a squash to take root. So help me.
Sweet Baby Girl: The same tomato variety as last year. I bought a mature plant for a few bucks, planted her and I'm pretty sure in 10 days I'll see the start of the fruit. This variety is awesome for us. I used these tomatoes for EVERYTHING I could and stored them in the freezer throughout the winter.
Oregano: came back nicely, not overly large right now
Rosemary: Survived the whole winter and then died during the cold snap in April. I have a new sapling in there now.
Forget-Me-Nots: large, lush and blooming blue flowers! I had to relocate them and scatter them around the garden as they were starting to take up too much vegetable bed real estate.
Mystery flower bed: This is where various flowers have been planted and while the top parent plant may have died through the winter, the root system or bulb was sound and regrew - I just wish I could identify them. The peony is regrowing at light speed, and I planted a poppy in the hopes of this area being the appropriate soil for it. I think (after a bit of research) I was trying to keep poppies in soil that was too wet and clay-like for it to really take hold. I'm hoping this better drained location is a better option. Some of this stuff may be hostas, lily of the valley (huh? isn't that supposed to be in the shade? what the...?) purple cone flowers and 2 rows totaling 10 stalks of.... something impressive looking. (scratches head. What DID I plant there?) Oh well.
The yellow hybrid tea climbing rose got 3 of the forget me nots around her base like a skirt - I'm hoping they'll spread and discourage the mallow that I'm still fighting.
Lupine: Growing healthier than at any point last year and double it's previous size!!!
Last year's Easter Lily: Though the parent plant never bloomed again the bulb survived the winter (somehow really close to the surface) and is regrowing.
Silver lace: like the butterfly bushes, the leaves are coming back but it's a mix of fresh and dead at the moment.
Just took down the shelves (thank you husband!) so I will need to rip up the mallow that was beneath and turn over the soil to aerate before anything can be put into the ground.
Delphinium: double in size and healthier than last year.
lavender: Suitably ok. They were growing well until the hard winter hit. Now I worry that their feet are too wet with the recent rain deluges.
Myriad tulips were planted in the floral hot box. They are at the point of being ready to open, but are holding on in their green sepaled beds. OPEN DANGIT!
Mini daffodils rim the edge of this bed. They were the first flowers in my garden this year! So happy! Sadly they're mostly spent now but ah well.
I moved some of the forget me nots into this bed as well.
One rose that I rescued from the front bed is in this hot spot and it seems to be doing well. There's new green growth coming out of the stems but I think it needs a good fertilizing.
Extra large alium flowers were planted in the corner of this hot box as a backdrop. They've grown tall but not bloomed. OPEN DANGIT!
Private honeysuckle has come back from winter and is showing new green leaves. If the rest of the garden is a measure, perhaps this will be his year for real growth and flowering.
Egyptian garlic: I got this clipping as a gift from my aunt. I put this particularly odd garlic in this bed because it grows large and lanky.

This corner bed (the hot spot) has a hole right in the middle. I had shastas there but they were always ragged and not very nice looking.

I need to figure out what to put in there. I need to turn the dirt and take out chunks of clay first.

Blueberry bush?
Lilac tree?
Another hydrangea or peony?
Maybe just something green?

Yeah well I do need something that is just green growth to back drop everything.
Ferns and hostas for the shady bed and creeping others for the sunnier spots. The vegetable patch stays clean though.

This is gonna take a while, and I may not get it all into this blog. My brain is nearly on full scratch disk alert and I have miles to go before I sleep.

I felt I should get this down, if for no one else's viewing, then for posterity and my own musings. The world went through a cascade of emotions this past weekend.

Friday April 29th I woke up and thought "Well either they're married or Europe has one humdinger of a scandal going on." I checked the news online and sure enough Prince William and Catherine Middleton were wed. Half of the world sat up to watch it in whatever time zone they had to endure, the rest of us watched it over and over again the next day as it was replayed on video and news broadcasts globally.

Catherine Middleton is a stunning young lady and has herself a good catch. She was a fantastic bride and I wish the royal couple many years of bliss together without the hats of Princess Beatrice to darken their door. (Seriously, that hat was evil!)

On Sunday May 1st, President Obama announced to the American public (and thus the world) that Osama Bin Laden had been killed by US Army ground forces in a special raid that he had authorized. This announcement came late in the evening, but Americans swarmed the streets around the White House, and sang the Star Spangled Banner, chanted "USA!" or just cheered.

Naturally, the Western world is on high alert to watch for retaliation attacks. There are people who are celebrating as if they had just won the lotto. Some are wandering around blearily and dribbling back and forth between laughing and crying. Some are sobbing, out of sheer relief for the justice to their departed family slain in the War on Terror, or of the human life lost. There are also those who are advocating that this is a bad thing - he should have been captured, not killed, this was handled all wrong, and that the loss of any human life is wrong.

I don't think there is a right or a wrong way to feel. It's strange. It's a big concept that a lot of people aren't used to processing. Surely, if you have a family member who was killed in the line of duty, this will hit home in a very tender area. I'm not sure myself what I feel. Yes I'm happy that a figurehead for a terrorist movement has been removed. Do I believe it will weaken al Quaeda, yes. Do I believe it will break them? No. Yes this is the kind of thing they retaliate against, and surely there is an orchestration of hierarchy already in place to handle leadership operations. I understand that. Am I happy people had to get killed for this to happen? No, but such options are not easily cut and dry.

My head is going blank and grey thinking about it. I think it's a safety mechanism.

Basically I think it's ok that so many of us are confused and a bit out of sorts with this - it's a big thing to happen in history.
I hope that everyone takes common sense to heart. Don't prod a wound and provoke a fight. I'm normally not a complete peace spraying hippie but really - there's been a lot of death. Please be careful. Be sensible. Be human. They don't always work together but I can hope.

OK, done with that.

Finally is the Canadian election.
Monday May 2nd Canada went to the election polls. Not to demean the election but it doesn't seem as dramatic, seeing as every citizen of age has the ability to impact it. The rest of this weekend's drama unfolded without the consultation of any of us mere mortals.

Next post I'm sticking to the developments in the garden.

I have no idea if anyone else ever gets this kind of thought going through their heads. It's a bizarre shade of morbid.

The husband loves the Discovery Channel and I'm all for having tv in the house that is educational.Last night he was watching a show about the Big Bang, dark energy and all of the other strange workings of outer space and the universe. Now, really, I'm mostly OK with this sort of stuff. Yes I have a hard time wrapping my brain around a few things but I try and take for granted that people in spectacles with a scientific sounding title, know what the heck they're talking about. So I take their word for it. What irks me is when they start talking about the potential arsenal of things that could go wrong and destroy the universe.

Oh sure, the chances of a black hole, colliding galaxy, or the Big Bang momentum suddenly going berzerk is actually quite small - they say - but my brain has a hard time registering that fact after they've shown the CG image of a placid planet Earth being reduced to SUBatomic particles in full destructive glory.

That's when I look around my living room and think "I just want to concentrate on my home, my child, my knitting and NOT think about the world that I am living on blowing up, thank you." The Universe is lumbering along in drunken swirls that we are barely beginning to understand and the fact is there's nothing we can do about any of it. Sure I'd love to have enough confidence in science to say "we'll put thrusters on the south pole and scooch the path of the earth a bit. No probs!" but there are way too many logistical problems for me to be able to swallow that with my morning cereal.

I don't know why this turned into a full blog. Perhaps it's self therapy to get this honest statement of my fragile concept out into the open. Point is, I'm really happy to think about the life that cocoons me right now. The thought of space and its capabilities scares me. No, check that. The thought of what it could do to hurt my baby boy, scares me. I'll go up against a bully, parent, teacher, army of undead and anything else that walks this earth - but when it comes to outer space, my Mommy capabilities become somewhat stunted. It makes me want to hug him, and pull him close to me, where MY whole universe is filled with his sleeping face.

So I had a little walk about in the garden yesterday. Just to see what's what. Who is planning on coming back and who has decided that this is not where they wanna be in life.

In the fall I had covered many of the beds with leaves as help for insulation against the cold. When I started to brush them back, I was greeted with green shoots that were pebbled all over the soil. Darn, did I really have that many bulbs to plant? Well I must have. OK, I forget what bulbs they were but I should be able to tell shortly when they flower. Still, I did a happy little garden dance in my head. I am not an inept gardener! If you plant it, it will grow!

Mind you there are a few bulbs I planted specifically in a corner and I'm staring at this still bare corner of the yard. Why so sullen? Don't you want to come out? Of course it's a gamble. Until I go digging in that soil, for all I know the bulbs were too close to the surface, were dug up by varmits or who knows what else.

There were some residents that I thought too young or small to make it through the winter but I was wrong. While the parent plant did wither and fail, there are fresh green sprouts around the main stalk that promise of a new and stronger plant.

Private honeysuckle; I don't know what to say. Your growth was minimal, your flowering non existent and your current condition does not bode well. We shall see.

My only true fear is the hydrangea. In the fall I padded it with leaves and swathed it with burlap to protect it from the cold. When I removed the coverings the reveal was not encouraging. I am hoping with the sunlight hitting the base now, some new growth will happen. I'll give it another month before I replace it with a hosta.

Well, in true stubborn Aries fashion, I went back to class too soon and my ankle rolled again. Not nearly as bad, mind you, as I had not just come down from a jump, but it still took my breath away and lead me to the changing room to have a frustrated cry.

On the advice of a friend, I went to the physiotherapist and explained in a reader's digest version, this little saga. As it turns out, this injury was waiting to happen. It was curled up in the shadows like a ninja just waiting for me to try and do something silly and energetic. (There may be a survival tactic in here that proves the gamer geeks will rule after the apocalypse because they don't injure themselves - apart from carpel tunnel I imagine)

There are a set of muscles in the leg (no not the normal beefy calf muscles, something else that runs right along the length of your bone)that are meant to correct the ankle when it starts to roll. Mine are abnormally weak, and so my ankles were predisposed to roll. I could have been doing any activity and this injury would have come sailing out of the darkness to lay me low.

The good news is that the swelling is minimal. I've done what I should to take care of it (other than going back to class too early). We're going to help the ankle heal, restore the flexibility (measured on the healthy foot for comparison) and strengthen the muscles in the legs so that this injury doesn't happen again.

The sad part is that I am not going back to taekwondo until the PT says so. This could be a while, so I need to talk to the Masters to figure something out. I'm just a bit bummed because I was really enjoying it.But we all have to grow up someday and dangit, I guess I have to be an adult about this.

Dangit.

Yes I'm tooting my own horn but it's only a wee one.

I went back to taekwondo class and didn't hurt myself. This may not be much a revelation or cause for celebration in the streets for anyone reading this blog (what all 3 of you?) but it meant mountains to me.

I didn't back out. Tray didn't have to threaten me with bodily harm and withholding of chocolate. I went back on my own and knew I was scared. I had given my ankle the time needed to heal. Now I was going to start using it again in an activity other than holding up my body. I was scared to feel any lightning lick of pain snake around my ankle and yank gravity sideways.

But I did it. I made it through the class with minimum pain. I even did the kicking exercise that tore my ankle up. I just didn't do it as hard or for as long. It was a mental hurdle that I got over. I small triumph of victory for myself against... myself I suppose.

Like I said, it means nothing to anyone else in the world, but it means a lot to me. Here ends the wee little toot of my own horn.